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Soft and Squishy
Some of you may not realize this, but really, I am very soft and squishy on the inside. It’s very cliché of me, I know, but my hard candy shell is just the armor I need to protect my soft underbelly. I know that the armor is often unattractive and sometimes scary. Fortunately or unfortunately……
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Sex, Love and Relationships (Part 4): Forgiveness (Explicit)
First I dated Ryan. God he was beautiful. Tall, dark and brooding. He was highly intelligent and charming. It’s really too bad because he knew he was all these things. I say we dated. Mostly we got loaded and had sex. He had the best drugs. He came from money. One night while Ryan and…
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Snowflake
One of my favorite quips is “I’m a unique snowflake…just like everyone else.” Let me explain. I was about 12 or 13 (I’m assuming this age based on I was new to the terror of teenagedom and the fear of what others thought of me). My mom and my sister grabbed me for some errand…
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Sex, Love and Relationships (Part 3): My first (Explicit)
“Wanna Fuck?” he asked as he drove me home. “Sure” I responded. With my 14th birthday just weeks away I knew I was getting close to the wire. Carol or Michelle or someone had told me that their mom had told them that any girl who smoked cigarettes also had sex by the time they…
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Stillness
Take a breath Consider my heart. Not the physical heart but the one connected. Under the chatter Is stillness…
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Heartbroken
You know that feeling when that person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with has decided they changed their mind? Yep, that is heartbreaking. In my youth, I thought I’d loved. My heart broke more times that I can count. I will admit that I was often delusional and that the ‘relationship’…
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I Am a Superhero!
I am an avid dreamer. What I mean by that is that I am one of those people who dreams a lot and often remembers my dreams. When I wake up and I have been dreaming, I am usually feeling pretty euphoric. Even if it’s a “bad” dream and I wake up scared or angry,…
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Pluviophile
Being raised in Southern California offered a myriad of wonderful adventures. Family would come into town and we would take them to Disneyland or Magic Mountain or the beach or some wonderful museum in downtown LA. But not only were there great things to do, the diversity of cultures made for the best food, and…
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Sex, Love and Relationships (Part 2): Touch
He was my first kiss. We were too young to be kissing. In our defense, we weren’t REALLY kissing. We were mushing our mouths together and laying on top of each other fully clothed. We thought we were being adult. I had not seen such things but he had and I was going along. That…
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Walking on a Winter Slumberland
I think I’ve been walking cemeteries now, for about 20 years. If memory serves, I started doing this because I didn’t know what to do with the energy of grieving my mother’s death. Historically I have walked up and down the rows and said the names of strangers out loud. I don’t know if anyone…
Claiming My Voice: From the darkness, the light emerges. 